Thursday, February 23, 2012


Can I just say how much I HATE hormones?

They make me emotionally sensitive. They make me physically miserable. They create a desire in me to eat either an entire container of Pringles or a big bag of Cheetos. They make me want to consume a pint of Ben& Jerry's ice cream - alone, no sharing - with a container of Double Stuff Oreos. Bring. It. On.

And I become a crazy person. Quite literally. Ask Preston.

I think my poor husband thought I was semi-normal until I couldn't take ANYTHING that might regulate my hormones because I had to go and have a myocardial infarction - you know - a heart attack. My cardiologist AND my endocrinologist both say that one of the things that can cause stress on my heart are hormones. I looked at both doctors and said "and the stress that NOT having them to help me is better?". So that means it's safer for me to have high anxiety because I'm hormonal and freaking out or have a massive migraine because my hormones aren't playing nice. Apparently these two have not had to deal with me when I'm in "Crazy Crawford" mode. Maybe THEY should ask Preston.

So I go on through life being under the influence of raging hormones.

Now, for the record, I get the whole punishment because of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Adam and Eve were flat out wrong and Eve (and therefore the rest of us) had to take her punishment for listening to the serpent and giving Adam the fruit. I get the whole punishment of pain during childbirth. But where does it say anything AT ALL about PMS or hormones or menopause?? Come on God, are you there? It's me, Marisha!! I know He is listening (just a clarification to all of my friends out there who are going to reprimand me) and I'm sure He smiles when I raise my voice. But I know He hears me and He hears all of the other women yelling the same thing. How do I know? I know this because in the midst of it all I will suddenly have a moment of peace and clarity. Then I smile quietly and thank Him.

And then I return to being a psychotic, emotional lunatic. Yup. Game on.

Hugs & kisses.

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